Reflections of A Fellow Traveler

"The heartbreaking moment in ministry will come when you realize this: there will come a point when you want more for people than they want for themselves." These were the words of my professor in my Youth Ministry class. This stuck out to me because I honestly feel the weight of the truth of that statement. I want to give people itemized instructions for a better life. I've even thought "Give me one week with her and she'll get on track." But I'm not 'her' mama, and I'm NOT her savior. I know there are times when Jesus looks lovingly and patiently at me and says "Jada, get it in gear." What the Holy Spirit has been showing me is that the way my heart breaks over young people is the way His heart breaks over me. I need to seek His counsel, take His advice, heed His instruction and warnings.
I've had this vision before that just keeps coming back. A field on fire. Upon research, you will find that farmers actually set their fields on fire after their crops have been harvested. It allows nutrients to be released back into the soil and it burns up any weeds or left over rubbish. I can't help but see the symbolism here. I need to be that field on fire. What am I holding onto that consists of weeds or rubbish? Fire doesn't just destroy, it brings nutrients to the soil. The fire seems dangerous maybe. But it is under control. They watch it carefully and make preparations so that it doesn't get out of hand. The Refiner's fire is classic, but it is a beautiful image. I can't help but want to be refined. There's so much work yet to be done! God loves me and cares for me, and because of that, He wants to make me better than the way He found me! How can I help others if I'm not continually being renewed?
Yes, I need to understand that these times of discouragement come when I want more for a student than they want for themselves. But I also need to be aware of what God is wanting to do in ME. I never want it to be said that I broke the Father's heart because He wanted more for me than I wanted for myself! I truly want all He has for me. He can use pain, betrayal, fears, hope, love, joy and make something beautiful from the randomness. He isn't random. He is a God of order and a God of peace. He brings what seems like chaos to a clear focus-a blazing orange midnight sky that changes into a field that is making way for next year's harvest. Where there is action, or silence with God, there is purpose. Always, there is purpose.