God's Will

Sitting in my new dorm room listening to Christian radio and thinking about the destiny that I'm running into, I can't help but feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. I know that He has plans for me. I've always known that. But until today, I didn't realize how it's come to the place that it doesn't matter to me what those plans are. I know that because I am more interested in His person than I am His purposes. This morning Pastor Luke Barnette spoke in orientation chapel. It was awesome. This is what he spoke about. It wasn't until he said it the way he did that things started to click. I want to seek God for who He is, not for His answers. As I seek Him just because of who He is, the better I hear His voice, and the more gradually I find myself in His will.

I KNOW I'm in God's will for my life. It's an AWESOME feeling, nothing like it. It's not that I don't care where I go, its just that I trust Him to lead me to things much greater than I could think of on my own. It's a beautiful place to be...yeah Lakeland, but for me Lakeland just represents where I REALLY am. God's perfect will.

No Turning Back

With beginnings that are new, come old ways that come to an end. That's not terribly philisophical but it's the truth. You pay more attention, you take less for granted, you express your love more-not just believing it goes without saying. What goes without saying should be said...so you say it. The colors of Autumn are brighter as they fade. That's not really how it works, but as you try to make the most of each leaf you see the grandness of it all. Pastor Gregg Laurie said it best: "The older you are, the more it takes to fill your heart with wonder." An ant dragging a leaf twice its size no longer makes us go "Woah!!!!" It's an easier target for us to step on. The point I'm trying to come to in all this rambling is that I'm leaving for a different state the day after tomorrow. Tonight my youth pastor was trying to give me a crash course and prepare me for that. My mom is clingy, my dad is snippy. My grandma is high strung. These are all symptoms of 'back to school' time. But this time, I'm leaving and won't see my family for three months. To most, that wouldn't be a big deal...and with the clingyness and snippyness I have to say the first month and a half are welcome. But following God's will has this one catch-22. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do but it's also the most worthwile. I could NOT do this if I wasn't 100% sure this is where God wants me. I also feel a little sad, not at what I'm going to but what I'm leaving behind. Sure I've been away at college for the past 3 years. But this is different. I don't know how. All I know is that I won't be living at home with my parents after this. I don't know how my life is about to change, I just feel in my spirit that it is indeed changing. This spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. My spirit is excited and I'm so pumped about this next level with God. My heart is sad and keeps trying to pull what Lot's wife did. But I can't look back. I have to keep pressing toward the mark of the high call (Philippians 3). I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. I meant what I said. Now it's time to step out and do it.

Advice about sticks, stones and other faulty childhood sayings...

I'm learning what forgiveness really means. Hurting doesn't mean you haven't forgiven...forgiveness doesn't mean you quit hurting. If someone kicks you in the shin even if you let it go and aren't mad anymore, you are still left with the bruise. Forgiveness is like that...or the process of it, anyway. But you can't focus on the bruise, can't remind the kicker of the bruise they inflicted, you can't stay hurt. It'll be there a while but eventually the bruise fades. You don't really even notice its leaving until it's gone. Don't beat yourself up if after saying and meaning that you've forgiven someone, you still feel the betrayal. Keep working through it, stay in the Word, allow God to speak to you. But know that it's normal for it to take some time. Physical bruises aren't gone in a day, emotional ones aren't either.

Vision of You

Shane and Shane

Come meet us, King Jesus
Oh wind of change blow through this temple
Sweet Spirit of God, come and mend our hearts
For all we have are songs
Unless You come

Awaken what’s inside of me
Tune my heart to all You are in me
Even though You’re here God come
And may the vision of You
Be the death of me
And even though you’ve given everything
Jesus come

Come free us, King Jesus
It’s the only way that freedom’s given
From You and You alone
In the work You’ve already done
For all we have are songs,Unless You come

Here we are, Lord
In this place
Crying out forYour embrace
To hear Your voice
More than songs
Please come
Jesus come

Max, Listen to My Words ( And you too even if you're not Max) Proverbs 4:23-27

"My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.

Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;

for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body...
Spending part of my time in childcare, as a preschool teacher I would be responsible for making sure the little kiddies didn't hurt themselves or each other. But there was always this one little boy... (let's call him Max) sweet as the day is long, but he couldn't listen to save his life-quite literally. If I had something important or lifechanging to say such as "Do not stand up when you go down the slide" or "Sit down on the swings, do not try to jump off" I had to get his attention.
I would have to squat down to his eyelevel, make sure we had eye contact and then before I would give my instruction I would precursor it with "Max, listen to my words." After I had his undivided attention, I knew I could tell him what
needed to be done and it would happen. Sometimes with God, I'm Max. He has to
take me by the hand, look into my eyes, lovingly lip the word "focussss" and
then say "Jada, listen to My words." We get so busy with life and we sometimes
read the Bible out of duty or obligation. We read so we can say we did. We read,
sometimes honestly hoping we'll find the answer to our plight. But Solomon knew
that we would just skip over stuff and become lackadaisical, zoning out and
speedreading for 10 minutes. So he reaches out to us, attempts focus and says
"My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words." He's saying "STOP STANDING ON THE SWING." He's saying "STOP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND JUST LEARN THIS. IF YOU LEARN THIS IT'LL SAVE YOUR LIFE!" After getting Max's attention, I didn't waste any of that precious time and I broke things down to his four year old level. I wanted to say "Max, seriously, stop being an idiot you're going to fall down, get trampled by the other kids and die." But what I said (in a loving tone) was "Max, sweetheart. Kindergarteners and other big kids wouldn't do that. You are a big kid, right?" (Intense nods.) "And you want to make it to kindergarten without getting a broken arm from falling from a swing, right?" (blank stare--a child's thinking face) "Don't stand up on the swing any more. Sit on your bottom or you'll have to come sit with me."I basically said "Above not pushing girls or peeing in the bushes, above picking
your nose or even trying to throw dirt at people-DO NOT stand up in that swing."Solomon in his God-given wisdom knew he'd have to speak the same way to us. "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Another translation says "for it affects everything you do." He is basically saying that everything he has said is important but the most important is to guard your heart. But just like I told Max not to stand on the swing, I also told him what to do...sit on his bottom. I'm not telling you to be lazy. What I'm saying is, Solomon also tells us how to guard our hearts.
"Put away perversity from your mouth;keep corrupt talk far from your
lips.
Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly
before you.
Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that
are firm.
Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot
from evil." Solomon gives each instruction twice so that we'll get the hint. It's like "Don't stand up, sit down in the swing." He says "Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips." Luke 6:45 tells us that we speak from what is in our hearts. If we put ugly and unfruitful things from our mouths, our hearts will follow suit.
We need to also guard our
eyes.He says "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." You need to stay focused on Jesus when you're trying to guard your heart. You need to look straight ahead, having tunnel vision. When horses or mules plow, they have blinders put on them. Blinders only let the animal see straight ahead so that they can focus on the field that is needing to be tilled up. They are ineffective when they can see the whole field.

They get discouraged and don't want to finish or they get distracted and want to
divert their energy.Then he says "Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm." So your lips, your eyes and the placement of your feet all lead directly to your heart. Wherever you allow your feet to roam is where you take your heart. If you get lost in the woods, its not only because you spoke a plan to enter the woods or even that you looked at the woods...your feet misled you. When you guard your heart, you make sure that every step is firm-not in quicksand- and you make sure that you don't step in gopher holes. You don't want to get tripped up on small things or things that shouldn't concern you. If you are on level and firm ground, you can allow your eyes to look straight
ahead so you can see where you're going.Surprisingly, Solomon shows us another phrase. "Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil." Keeping your mouth pure, keeping your eyes straight and on level ground and making sure you don't swerve one way or the other, but keep pressing straight ahead will keep your heart guarded. Don't speak too much. Only talk when you have something to say that isn't too personal unless you're talking to Jeus, are with friends of the same sex or a trusted mentor. Stay focused on Jesus. "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." (Hebrews 12:2) When you keep your eyes on Jesus, you don't get distracted by other things. Relationships, past failures, future hopes...all of those things can lead you in the wrong direction. When you look at them, you walk towards them.Make level paths for your feet. Your "thoughtfeet" are very important. "We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." ( 2 Corinthians 10:5) You must choose to guide your thoughts. Keep your feet from wandering in the wrong direction. Doing all of these things and being sure to not swerve from them will keep you from evil-from anything apart from God and His plans for your life. "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" (Isaiah 30:21)God doesn't want you to mess up any more than I wanted Max to crack his head open. I only made the punishment of sitting out so that doing something that would hurt him wouldn't look so good. It's not about God being a funsucker. It's about all of the life He has to offer you. But you can't fly on the wind among the tree leaves if you're constantly face planting and eating mulch.

The Only One For Me

As a counselor at youth camp this past week I saw God move in so many ways. I would do it all again (even driving the church van that has no A/C. But this time I wouldn't complain). Kids were baptized in the Holy Spirit with evidence of speaking in tongues, people were healed of hearing defects, kids were called into ministry, my youth pastor shared some awesome stuff with me about what the Lord is wanting to do in my life and it lines up perfectly with what the Lord has been telling me.
The Lord has called me deeper and I love it. One thing that spoke to me was a beautiful song that Southeastern's praise team sang. The one line out of that song that keeps me thinking is:

"You are the only One for me."

Jesus matters most to me. He's the only one for me. He's the only one I live for. Everything I do is for His glory (or that's the goal at least). Don't get me wrong, I want to find true love and get married. I want to have a family. I want to be in ministry. But all of that is nothing without Jesus, without His compassion for people running through my heart. I want Jesus more than anything. I know that as I seek Him and go after Him with everything I've got, everything else will fall into place.

He gave His life for me.

He paid a debt He didn't owe.

His love isn't based on what I do.

He stays the same-always.

His love is so wide and so deep that I won't ever be able to fully grasp it.

He is so in love with me. ( :

Yeah, most definately, He is the only One for me.


"You are the only One for me.
You are the only One I please.
You are the only thing I need.
You are the only thing I breathe.

I love You so much, how can I show You?
I love You so much, I want to show You.

I want to sing for You, I want to dance for You.
I want to sing for You, my Daddy."

Let Freedom Ring

Tonight I had a lot of fun that came unexpectedly. It was a different kind of fun than anything I've experienced before. A childhood friend and I caught up but we're not children anymore.
The journey of life is full of the unexpected. With God, nothing is as it seems. Tonight we talked about that. Caleb was saying that God goes about things differently than we do. We try to analyze everything and logic it out when really, God isn't confined to laws of physics or of any of our human understanding. Just because I have been trying my best to trust God with everything I've got, and just as I've been letting go and giving Him complete reign in my life, something wonderful like the time we had tonight-completely out of the blue (for us, not God)-- God taught me today that if I will just continue to trust Him, things will come together and not just for a good outcome, but better than I could have ever dreamed. I realize now that in surrender, you are truly free. An old truth, but today it really rang true.

Enthusiastic

Recently I learned that enthusiasm in the Greek means to be inspired by God or to be expectant that God will show up. This has made me choose this word usage with purpose. When I work or minister I do it enthusiastically. I am anticipating the God of the universe to come and inspire and change me. I am expecting Him to show up. My words can be few when I'm trying to counsel a teen in the youth group because all I need to do is read His Word, pray and allow the Holy Spirit to flow through me. If we are just willing to be vessels to be used, vessels enthused about even the most seemingly mundane, your circumstances don't matter much. It's not a happiness or annoying perkiness in unideal situations, it's a deep joy in knowing-expecting the Great I Am to show up and change things.