Gentle Reminder

In the days it seems God is silent, I have found that He is merely sticking close to the broken heart. When I sense failure creep in to suffocate me without a sense of reckoning, God is the faithful friend who stays by my side, silently weeping with those who weep, putting His arm around the shoulder as if to say without words "Where you end, I may begin. Where you fail, I restore. Where you are weak, I am allowed to become strength." A silent mourner in the midst of sorrowing hearts. He is so gentle that He quietly waits until our hearts can bear the strain of His whisper and that is when these precious words can be heard: "I AM."
He was, He is and He will be. He doesn't change as shadows shift at the repositioning of the sun. He is constant, He is true and to whatever it is you find that you may need or think you need He gently speaks "I AM."
So when you cannot hear Him, remember that He's given you His word and let that be enough. You are loved. He will never leave you. His plans for you are good. And in your trials, He is near to the broken heart. That is the place you can be sure you will find Him closest.

"For this is what the high and exalted One says— he who lives forever, whose name is holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite." Isaiah 57:4

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” John 8:58

All of the Above

I first read this passage in the NIV this morning. But the message is always a nice paraphrase. From beginning to end, this passage speaks to me about what God is doing and is about to do. Vereses 8-11 get me the most excited. When I read them, my spirit leaps because I know that the promised things are just that-they are promised and they are coming. I pray this passage means something significant to you as well. To explain the title, I saw a vision of multiple choice answers. A-C are things God has breathed into my spirit but I thought it was just too many good things. But in the vision, there was choice D that His hand came down and circled. He wants to give me "All the above." We are scared of hurts in the past and out of that try to limit God so that we don't get our hopes up. But He is not a man that He can lie! And when you are dealing with people who want God's perfect will right along with you, you will surely get all the above. Be encouraged! Happy New Year.

Isaiah 55 (The Message)

Isaiah 55

Buy Without Money

1-5 "Hey there! All who are thirsty,
come to the water!
Are you penniless?
Come anyway—buy and eat!
Come, buy your drinks, buy wine and milk.
Buy without money—everything's free!
Why do you spend your money on junk food,
your hard-earned cash on cotton candy?
Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best,
fill yourself with only the finest.
Pay attention, come close now,
listen carefully to my life-giving, life-nourishing words.
I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you,
the same that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love.
I set him up as a witness to the nations,
made him a prince and leader of the nations,
And now I'm doing it to you:
You'll summon nations you've never heard of,
and nations who've never heard of you
will come running to you
Because of me, your God,
because The Holy of Israel has honored you."
6-7Seek God while he's here to be found,
pray to him while he's close at hand.
Let the wicked abandon their way of life
and the evil their way of thinking.
Let them come back to God, who is merciful,
come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness.

8-11"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
Just as rain and snow descend from the skies
and don't go back until they've watered the earth,
Doing their work of making things grow and blossom,
producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry,
So will the words that come out of my mouth
not come back empty-handed.
They'll do the work I sent them to do,
they'll complete the assignment I gave them.

12-13"So you'll go out in joy,
you'll be led into a whole and complete life.
The mountains and hills will lead the parade,
bursting with song.
All the trees of the forest will join the procession,
exuberant with applause.
No more thistles, but giant sequoias,
no more thornbushes, but stately pines—
Monuments to me, to God,
living and lasting evidence of God."

Sister of My Soul

When I think of the plan and future God has for me, this is what I see in my mind. Bright, endless, beautiful.


"Mary, I look at you, so willing to deliver Truth, sister of my soul."-Nicole C. Mullin

Luke 1:26-45

I have always learned from people in the Bible. The struggles they went through and the ways God still was able to use them has always inspired me in some way. After all, if He can use David and still call him a man after His own heart after David having committed murder, adultery and being prideful-He can still use me!
But I think I have always been so careful to not put Mary, the mother of Jesus on a pedestal that I have avoided her person completely. Not that I haven't learned from her example to ponder things in my heart but I have not looked at her heart. She was a woman who was young, probably about fourteen or so. She was a virgin, she had found the man she was going to marry. But then an angel, Gabriel came to her and told her of a plan that was far bigger than hers. He told her that she was blessed and highly favored but that "greatly troubled her," the Bible says. So he repeated himself "Do not be afraid, you have found favor with God."
He then proceeded to tell her what that favor would require of her. In Luke chapter one, verse thirty-four Mary asks "How will this be?" So Gabriel explains that she just has to be willing to be used and he does this by saying "The Holy Spirit will come on you." The Holy Spirit will come on HER. She didn't have to do anything. He then encouraged her with the news of Elizabeth being pregnant with John the Baptist at such an old age. He then directly answers her question "How will this be?" in saying "with God, nothing is impossible." That is all it took to make her willing. She simply said "May it be to me as you have said."
Elizabeth confirmed what the Lord had spoken through Gabriel "In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" Luke 1:42-43. Mary was blessed because she believed that what the Lord said would be accomplished. (Luke 1:45)

God has spoken something to my heart. He has told me what His favor requires of me. We often don't think of favor as asking something of us. But in His love and approval of us, when we do well with little, we become responsible for more. The blessing God has spoken to me has had me "greatly troubled" because I didn't see it happening. I even said "How will this be?!" But through the example of Mary He whispers to me "with Me, nothing is impossible." I don't have to do anything but be willing to let Him have His way. And His way is so wonderful that why would I not want this? The Holy Spirit has come on me and all I have to do is say "May it be to me as you have said." An awesome friend of mine reminded me (the confirmer who in Mary's story was Elizabeth) that I need to believe what God has told me all before this passage came to my spirit. She then reminded me of Luke 1:45:" Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”
Though I am NOT having the second virgin birth, haha I will say that Mary and I have a lot more in common than I ever noticed before. I think God was saving that realization for the perfect time-the time of spiritual alignment in my own heart. With all of that done it is now time to further follow Mary's example in Luke 2:19 and treasure these things the Lord has promised, shown and given me and ponder them in my heart.


God, when you come to me and remind me that I'm favored, when you come and explain what that favor puts me in the running for, let me be a willing vessel and understand that willingness is all you need from me because the Spirit will come on ME and do the work through me. Calm my fears with this truth just as you did with Mary.
Remind me that the impossible task you've breathed as a dream will be possible because with you, nothing is impossible. May it be to me as you have said. Bring someone to confirm it even though I don't need it, just because that will be further proof. Help me believe that what you have said will be accomplished and bless me for it. Thank you for the Spirit of revelation. Help me focus on you.
12.30.10

A Word from our Sponsor

You want something of your very own,
something no one can steal.
But truly let Me lead you on,
and you'll see how I heal.

I specialize in restoration,
provision and protection.
When you don't hear My still, small voice,
I'm pausing for your reflection.

Disappointment, heartaches too,
you will know your share.
But they won't outweigh the joys, the Truth,
of the promises prepared.
JMP 12.28.10

After I wrote the above poem with the guidance of the Spirit, I signed and dated it as is my custom. But as I wrote the "10" I realized today is the first and last twenty-eighth of December in 2010. What did I accomplish in this once given day? Who did I touch, exhort, disciple? How did I grow closer to the Lord? You see, dear reader, if I cannot answer those questions with purpose, what good will 2011 be? We are all crawling toward New Years Eve and while that is a somewhat false sense of newness, what we do on the this side of the new year is really only a preview of next year. If I am not loving today, will I be loving a week from today on January 4, 2011 because the year is different? And if so, why am I waiting until then? I need to exercise today, pray today, intercede today, read the Word today and reach out to others today because tomorrow isn't promised.

All of that was for free. Now to the blog! :)

I knew when I was reaching for the pad and pen that this was going to be prophetic to someone-maybe even to me. I don't usually put my poetry for all to see but this is different. It's from God to His children, and those He is calling to be His. Whatever you're going through, wherever you are understand that if you will look to Jesus and keep your eyes on Him, everything else truly will fall into place. If you will listen to Him, trust what He says and do what He asks, you will find joy like you have never known. "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.” Isaiah 30:21

Presents, Presence, Snow

I woke up with the excitement of a young child, not able to wait for my parents to wake up. But this year it wasn't because I couldn't wait to see what it is they may have gotten me. I couldn't wait for them to open their gifts. With that being said, I can't wait to have kids! The presents they got me were thoughtful and chosen with care and as I opened them I was overwhelmed with what creativity and love my parents have. I had a horrible nightmare several nights ago and since then it has made me so appreciative of the simple presence of my parents. I know that for some this holiday season, that horrible nightmare of the death of a parent isn't something you are able to wake up from and rush to the phone as I did to be able to call them and hear their voice. Arguments seem so trivial. No task seems to be too difficult. The highlight of my day was taking a Christmas nap with Dad, hearing his heart beat and hearing Mom humming in the kitchen as she finished up goodies to take to my aunt's house tonight. Simply being present in the present is a gift within itself. Seeing people for who they are in my life, not wasting precious time but being able to soak up everything they have to offer and not wasting opportunities to love and serve is something I'm wanting to be way better at.
Playing Hungry Hungry Hippos and then dolls in their dollhouse with my ten-year-old cousin Emma was so fun. At first when she asked me to play Hungry Hungry Hippos for the (literally) 8th time, I hesitated. But then I thought back to when I was ten. If I had had a twenty-two year old cousin who would play with me, that would have been the best thing ever! I would have remembered that for a very long time. So I decided that playing the 8th (through 15th) round and getting what I dubbed Hippo Burn (which is a very technical term for the redness your hand shows after competitively slamming down the hippo tail so many times!), then playing with her adorable dollhouse I found that we were making a memory for both of us to share. I was so glad I was present in that moment and was able to be what Emma needed me to be. I was glad that I was able to help make another memory for her childhood (and quite honestly, for mine!). I also realized that all of my life I have prayed and sought God for things and people and situations but sometimes He just wants me to just...be there. I just need to trust that I am where He wants me.
As the snow fell today, as the white blanket covered the earth, I thought of what Jesus came to do. Today we celebrate His coming because He is worthy and He made us worthy. Only His blood could wash me whiter than snow. To see fields and fields of white, trees even covered in white, otherwise evergreens covered in white further drove home the point. I was so unworthy. He knew I would dishonor and under-appreciate my parents. He knew I would waste precious time. He knew I would do things-even simply being born into humanity-that would deem me unworthy of the holiness of God. Yet while I was still in that sin, that mess, that dirt, Jesus came to the earth as a baby, lived a sinless life, died on my cross and rose from the dead and ascended to the right hand of the Father to be a go between from me to God. ("But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8)
Just as the snow covered anything and everything that would be still long enough, even piles of dirt, Jesus' blood will cover whatever is impure in our lives if we put it under that Blood.
This Christmas season think about being in the today. Be present with those you love. Understand that in light of eternity when either of you are gone from this earth so many things are not worth quibbling over. Also, understand that whatever has you running from the very One who can save you from your self is a waste of your life-and His. Stand still, allow His Blood to cleanse you. You'll be whiter than the freshly fallen snow.

Thoughts Before A Roadtrip

The past three days have been a whirlwind. I feel like I just got to Lakeland (and with good reason), but in just a few minutes I will be leaving again. What is helping me cope is the knowledge that if the Lord allows, I'll be back in just a few short weeks. I have missed my SEU friends, I have missed campus and I have missed the faculty. (I even missed the smell of the library, but that's just how I am)
I miss my Asheville people and my Mooresville biological and church families but in order to look ahead and not be in complete discontent, I really do have to admit that I can't wait to see what the next few months hold. I'm not wishing my life away to graduation. I did that with high school graduation and I've since regretted it. I will savor the next few weeks at home, my last normal childhood Christmas (though, honestly emotionally speaking that has been several years ago), and I will look forward to the next months and the life changing purpose they hold. Only God can know what that purpose is, but this utter sense of destiny being fulfilled is in my spirit. This time, whatever it is, this is what I was made for-what I was led to Southeastern for.
As far as it depends on me, I will work to turn off my over analytical button and just seize life.
I'm in Becki and Lauren's room for the last time. In four hours it will be Catherine and Lauren's room. Miss Graduate (Becki) will certainly come to visit but this is just another signal that life changes. Other people are moving toward their destiny at the same time that I am. I'm thankful that God has chosen for our destinies to collide with each other's.

Well, time to get moving. As much as I want Scotty to beam me to North Carolina, I've got a long drive ahead of me. See you in the Spring, Lakeland.

Until We Meet Again

Sitting in the office for the last time, I can't help but look back over the past six months that I have been blessed to serve at Crossroads. I have learned so much more than how to do ministry. I've learned how to be a follower of Christ in a deeper way. God truly has been my provision. In Him I have known no lack. It has been a time where my parents have done what they could of course, but I was able to be on my own enough to trust that God will provide for you where He guides you. Obedience is the key.
I have also learned that when you invest in people, you build a trust. Not only as in "I trust you," but rather like a bank account. You build your credit with people and it becomes a bond that is unbreakable. I have had limited super close relationships in my lifetime, but here I was greeted with the warmth of friends and family. These are connections that insist I'll come to visit and I'll "always have a place to stay in Asheville."
I had gotten into a groove that worked for me and quite honestly, I'm deeply saddened to see it end. Thanks to the Bachelors, the Brooks' and the Sextons for your hospitality. Thanks to Isaac "junior" for befriending me from the first time we met. You're a great friend and brother in Christ! Thanks specifically to Stanley, Pastor Wade, Pastor Glynn and Pastor Bob for believing in me and mentoring me, Pastor Mike for always being available and approachable and allowing me to use some of your great commentaries. Pastor Isaac, thanks for always being encouraging! Many others in the church for giving me advice and speaking into me such as Jimmy & Susan Sexton, Calvin Metcalf, Bill & Edith DeLong, Harold & Ann Ferrel and so many more. Jon and Heather, thank you for your friendship. Thanks for all the fun at lunches, random breaks and to Heather for spending the night with me and to Jon for letting her! I love you guys. To my kids, I will miss each and every one of you. Keep going after God with everything you've got! I am always here for you. Just a facebook chat or a text away. :)
To the rest of my Crossroads family I didn't mention specifically by name, I have your names in my mind but the list is getting quite exhaustive. I love you all for who you are, who you want to be and for who the Lord is transforming you into. It has been my deepest passion and joy to serve along side you. Blessings to you all.

Grace and Peace be yours,