No Turning Back

With beginnings that are new, come old ways that come to an end. That's not terribly philisophical but it's the truth. You pay more attention, you take less for granted, you express your love more-not just believing it goes without saying. What goes without saying should be said...so you say it. The colors of Autumn are brighter as they fade. That's not really how it works, but as you try to make the most of each leaf you see the grandness of it all. Pastor Gregg Laurie said it best: "The older you are, the more it takes to fill your heart with wonder." An ant dragging a leaf twice its size no longer makes us go "Woah!!!!" It's an easier target for us to step on. The point I'm trying to come to in all this rambling is that I'm leaving for a different state the day after tomorrow. Tonight my youth pastor was trying to give me a crash course and prepare me for that. My mom is clingy, my dad is snippy. My grandma is high strung. These are all symptoms of 'back to school' time. But this time, I'm leaving and won't see my family for three months. To most, that wouldn't be a big deal...and with the clingyness and snippyness I have to say the first month and a half are welcome. But following God's will has this one catch-22. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do but it's also the most worthwile. I could NOT do this if I wasn't 100% sure this is where God wants me. I also feel a little sad, not at what I'm going to but what I'm leaving behind. Sure I've been away at college for the past 3 years. But this is different. I don't know how. All I know is that I won't be living at home with my parents after this. I don't know how my life is about to change, I just feel in my spirit that it is indeed changing. This spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. My spirit is excited and I'm so pumped about this next level with God. My heart is sad and keeps trying to pull what Lot's wife did. But I can't look back. I have to keep pressing toward the mark of the high call (Philippians 3). I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. I meant what I said. Now it's time to step out and do it.