Tow Zone-Second Chance Calls for Over Analyzation

There is a raw place in my heart. I didn't know it was there until I got a tow warning stuck to the window of my car (I mean the whole warning was a STICKER that will NOT peel off! UGH!!) My first thought was what every dependent, people pleasing rule follower would think: "They just don't know who I am!" At least it was a warning. But it scared me because if it had been towed, I don't know what I would have done apart from asking a friend for a ride home. I had even left my purse in the car sense I was going in to my friends' apartment. I even called one of them to make sure it was okay to park there and they assured me it was. But tonight after I called them on my way home, their response was "Well next time you won't park there will you?" I felt a few dramatic words so bear with me: I felt rejection, hurt and abandonment. I know that sounds a little out there. But the trigger for those feelings was the fact that the same person who told me it was FINE to park there, "Don't be silly. 'There's no towing on Saturdays,'" making light of my concern then turned it to something wrong I had done under their instruction.
Let me make this clear: I am not deceiving myself by thinking all of those feelings came from tonight...
Any time I get hurt or have gotten hurt in the past, it has been because I went against my better judgement ONE time, ONE and that was all it took for things to fall through, for me to be left holding the ball and for people I trusted to be no where in sight. I didn't get a warning sticker. I got stuck. Tonight I stood alone in the school parking lot after getting back to campus trying to get the sticker off. It was almost as if I felt dirty and just had to get that sticker off the window. I didn't care if it wasn't safe for me to be out there after midnight. I didn't care that I was the only one in the parking lot. I pushed my dad's voice out of my head "the sticker is secondary. You're a sitting duck right now. Go to your room and worry about this later." As I scratched and scratched this stupid sticker the anger rose in me. Not at the one telling me to park there, not at the person who put the sticker there, not the one who called the people to put the sticker there. I was mad at myself-for not parking in a designated space-against my better judgement. Saying "so and so said I could park there" wouldn't hold up, but I was cold and tired and didn't want to have to walk far by myself when I came out. So I risked it without counting the cost.
I learned two things (so far at least) tonight:
One was quite personal. I have issues. haha My first instinct was to possibly hurt someone I love very much by telling them it was my mistake because I trusted them (in thinking it was okay to park there). Those were words regretted as soon as they left the portal. The truer statement would have been "It was my mistake because I didn't listen to myself. The fact that I had to even ask you was my answer. For the next three minutes of our conversation I will now be punishing you for every jerk in my past." God used that tow warning sticker to bring things to the surface that need attention. I'm not okay. There are things I need to work through.
The second thing is that in ANY situation, you MUST count the cost. If you're thinking that love doesn't count the cost, I see where you're coming from but I disagree. Love counts the cost and pays it anyway without regard to the inconvenience. But before you pay the cost, you must consider it. For every action there is a consequence whether good or bad. We must choose which we are willing to face.
This is just me thinking on "paper." But it really bothers me, the way I'm feeling right now. I am frustrated, I am trying to work through it and not make it a big deal all while knowing that it could have easily BEEN a big deal, and I am trying to figure out how to get the rest of that blessed sticker off of my dang window.