In carpool on the way to church tonight I was talking with someone who has become dear to my heart. I revealed to her some feelings I've been experiencing lately. Some are due to lack of sleep and others are due to the need for a break. To one of my concerns she gently spoke heavy words of life to me.
She simply said "Jada, stop being afraid of what happens when you pour in to people. You pour into them and then withdraw when they get a little uncomfortable. But you're never going to build relationships that way. Eventually, the ones that matter will appreciate your presence."
This made me think about how I just close down when I sense impending rejection. I stop reaching out to be friendly. Why? Because they might think I'm weird or radical or overbearing. I need to see the benefits of friendship as outweighing whatever has me paranoid.
I'm glad Jesus doesn't shut down or back away from me. He waits for me. -Not to say that we can just do whatever we want. But I'm saying that Jesus cares about us patiently just like a parent with a small child. The child may not get something they want so they pitch a hissy fit. The parent just waits until they're done, picks them up, (hopefully) corrects them so that they can grow from that experience and not do it again, and they move on. I'm glad Jesus waits out my hissy fits. He has been patient and loving with me, I need to be that way with others.
"We love because He first loved us."
1 John 4:19
I believe I owe you a comment. I think I throw more hissy fits with Jesus than anyone else. It seems as if I'm always yelling, complaining, or whining about something. Nevertheless, I appreciate your transparency with this. You have the ability to pour into people, even from a distance (as you have for me). I look forward to a lunch with you anyway. Perhaps your "pouring" may need to cause discomfort, moving them to challenge. Enjoy your spring break. Take some time off, and just love. Its probably the easiest thing for Jada Parker to do.
ReplyDelete