A Faceless Groom

Tonight I struggle with what to write. I know I want to say something. But I don't want to type a word unless I know I'm actually saying something. As I sit alone in my room with only the hum of the refrigerator to keep me company, I think.

I think about all of MY plans and how sitting here tonight wasn't one of them. I'm so glad the Lord's purposes prevail. :) I think about the nudge the Lord gave me to come to Southeastern. "This is a time of spiritual alignment." I knew that if I didn't come, and if I didn't come at this point in time, my life would never be the same. I also knew that if I DID come, my life would be forever changed.

Jesus has been romancing me. It's the beginning of a beautiful season for sure. He's been giving me the chance to see glimpses of the greatness of His love for me. (and for you) He pursues us. He pursues me.

As far back as I can remember, I always dreamed of my wedding day. I dreamed of who would be in my wedding, the flowers used, the music played, the location, the dress and OF COURSE, the ring. But I never dreamed of the groom's face. I would lie awake at night with my eyes squeezed tightly trying to make myself dream of him. But I couldn't comprehend how great he would be. Honestly, all I still know is that the closer I get to Jesus, the more I know the character of my future husband.
The point here isn't even about marriage. The point is, sometimes we get so caught up with the details-whatever could be analogous to the wedding plans. Could it be the dream job, the dream house, car, family, pet, bank account? I know there are way more things it could be, those are just starters.
We get wrapped up in the things that grab our attention too. What parallels a diamond ring? That one thing we just can't live without. That one person. I know for me it had been what people thought. I got caught in a place where I was too tired to care, but I was such a people pleaser that I couldn't help it. Jesus had to save me from that.
So we get wrapped up in details and plans and things that grab our attention. But what (or rather Who) are we not seeing?
The Groom.
It breaks my heart to think that there have been times in my life that Jesus' love for me was one sided. I was busy making plans without asking His opinion. I was busy running around trying to figure out how I was going to get it all done without asking for His help. When all the while, He looked at me with eyes burning with love- a deep love that took Him to the cross-He waited for me. He pursued me anyway.
In the movie 27 Dresses, there is a "cute" little line they use. The two main characters say that at weddings most people always look at the bride as she is coming down the aisle, but they always look at the groom to see his face.
I think that face is just the beginning of how Jesus looks at us. Eyes full of passion, smile full of pride, face glowing with joy. He knows I will fail Him-even on my most spiritual days-and yet He loves me. He can see ahead to my failures and hurts but He chooses me continually. The most beautiful diamond couldn't surpass the radiant joy that is on His face. Because I put it there...and that joy is all the strength I need to keep returning His love, surrendering to His pursuits, and to quit playing hard to get.