Sometimes the hardest place to be is broken at the feet of Jesus. But I am learning that He will do whatever it takes to bring me into deeper intimacy with Him. That includes brokenness. I am learning that my frustration and hurt and sense of loss comes from the nasty head of entitlement. Instead of thanking God for what I have and who I know and what and who He has brought into my life, I have been angry for what has not come. Lord, forgive me. I am not entitled to marriage or a certain job or even the pursuit of happiness. I have been given life, liberty and the ability to pursue Jesus and be pursued by Him. I have been given awesome friends and family and a great church. I have been given a good job in easy working conditions, friendly co-workers and great hours. I have been given more than I deserve and spared from most of what I do deserve. I know what it is to be content-its through Jesus and His strength He daily gives (my paraphrase of Philippians 4:12-13).
Whatever He chooses to give me is serving a purpose. I live to glorify Him-not to understand the reasons behind everything He does. I know that what He does is for His glory and for my good. I have to trust that even when things don't always make sense. He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul.
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